Oh man. I cannot WAIT for Sunday.

 

Sunday is looming on the horizon for me and unlike any other day of the year besides, maybe, Super Bowl Sunday, I am giddy like a school girl. Wrestlemania shall be upon us and lo' there shall be The Rock! Oh yeah Stone Cold Steve Austin, Triple H, The Undertaker, Trish Stratus and let us not forget that Shawn Michaels will be in attendance as well.

The card is a mixed bag, however, that will provide genuine thrills along with some matches that make me really question just what the hell the creative staff at WWE is thinking here. Snooki generates buzz and I get that but seriously did we really need to have that hobgoblin from MTV's Jersey Shore in a damned match? We do get Trish Stratus out of the deal plus Ziggler (A definite rising star) and Morrison thrown in too but really WWE? What the hell?

There are matches to be seen here that really don't feel up to the caliber that one would expect from Mania but the "Main Event" matches should serve as a delicious entree to counter the, maybe, sub-par appetizers awaiting us. So, without further ado, my thoughts and predictions for this Sunday's Wrestlemania 27.

 

Jerry "The King" Lawler v. Michael Cole 

So, we've got Jerry "Ahhh Puppies!" Lawler fighting against Michael "That's Vintage!" Cole? I have to admit when the notion of this match first got mentioned I was totally against it. I've never been crazy about Lawler, though his stuff with Andy Kaufman was great. Cole is just, well, an decent commentator but he's no Jim Ross. 

The buildup of this was actually handled better than I thought and the addition of Jack Swagger as Cole's "trainer" and the infusion of The Texas Rattlesnake Steve Austin as guest referee could make this an interesting match. Will it ultimately be great? Probably not. Should Lawler maybe consider calling it quits after this? I think so. What bothers me most about this, I think, is that they've done so much to build Cole up as a heel here but ultimately it'll cease to exist right after Mania or he'll slowly move off into obscurity. 

Winner: Jerry Lawler

 

Snooki, Trish Stratus & John Morrison v. Dolph Ziggler & Laycool

Wrestlemania has always been about merging the world of movies, tv, music, and sports with wrestling. The first Wrestlemania, held in Madison Square Garden, had friggin' Liberacci as a timekeeper. We've seen numerous celebrities brought in as either performers, guest hosts or just random entourage to big name stars. There have been plenty, however, who actually performed in the ring. That has met with mixed results, of course, but one rule that has held true all these years: The celebrity never loses.

This one really is pointless and frankly a miss for me considering you've got Ziggler and Morrison back on a mid-card event again and Trish Stratus, one of the best Divas to ever enter the ring, is being used as backup to god damned Snooki. Snooki! Ahhh! Oh well, this one's easy to predict.

WINNER: Snooki, Trish Stratus and John Morrison

The Corre v. The Big Show, Kane, Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov

 

This could end up being one of the better matches of the entire night. No! Really it could! This would have been way better with maybe a 6v6 booking, but hey, we can't always get what we want. Show and Kane are on a roll as are Marella and Kozlov. The comedic duo paired with the whopper crew will win out here just because, well, their faces! That's why! Thank God they let Barret get a title though. If anyone needs a bigger push it'll be him. Thanks, WWE. Get on that. ASAP.

WINNER: Big Show, Kane, Santino and Kozlov

Rey Mysterio v Cody Rhodes

I want to care about this match. It has Rey Mysterio! That has to be good right? Well, yeah, it could be. Cody Rhodes hasn't impressed me much in terms of his in-ring skills but the character has been getting better as time has gone on. I'm still not really hopped up about this match or anything. 

WINNER: Rey Mysterio

 

CM Punk v. Randy Orton

So, let's diminish any strength CM Punk had going into this match by having Orton decimate the ranks of the New Nexus one by one! Great! Oh, wait, that makes Orton look too good. Let's have Punk hit him with a wrench to even the score a bit. This will be over in a moment with a lightning quick RKO. Seriously. Who doesn't see this one coming?

WINNER: Randy Orton

The Undertaker v. Triple H

The pic above says a lot doesn't it? My prediction should be easily determined from it! Yeah! That's right! I'm picking AGAINST The Streak. I think if anyone in this company should be the one to put an end to Undertaker's Wrestlemania reign it's Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Let's face it the promos, which have been fantastic by the way, are all pointing towards it in my opinion. Who will ever approach the level of dominance at Wrestlemania that Undertaker has ? No one. It won't happen. There won't be another guy like Undertaker either so why should the streak continue? Honestly my heart would say that Michaels should have been the one to break it but, really, I think Triple H will get it done. This will be the match of the night for sure.

WINNER: Triple H

Sheamus V. Daniel Bryan

So, we've got a guy in Sheamus that has some legitimate potential versus a guy who is talented as all get out but has no personality whatsoever. The match should be interesting enough to keep the show from sagging a bit during this spot. I think the only reason Sheamus got the title in the first place was to make him look legit in terms of his feud with Bryan. He'll be back after this I'm sure in a main event capacity.

WINNER: Daniel Bryan

Edge v. Alberto del Rio (World Heavyweight Championship)

This match has the makings of a genuinely great one. Alberto is a definite star in the making and Edge is dominant as champion. The real wild card here is Christian. If he does what most think he will and turn on Edge then we've got ourselves a new champion. Just not sure how they'll approach having Christian out there with Edge. Hmm. I'll say..

WINNER: Alberto del Rio

The Miz v. John Cena (WWE Championship)

Alright. Here's a bit of dreaming on my part. The responses John Cena has given in reply to the Rock's verbal beatdowns have been hollow at best relying on sophomoric humor, though a few lines were actually funny, and going back to a way more akin to the Cena of old. You know the one that was a heel? This is probably just me dreaming here, but I think right now is possibly one of the best times you could considering Rock's entry to make Cena turn to the dark side. It would be a shocking end to this entire ordeal but ultimately I think Miz will end up winning here. The Rock will layeth the smack down on Cena's candy ass and this joke of a feud will be at an end. The Miz benefited more from Rock's resurgence than Cena I think, but nonetheless, Miz will retain. 

WINNER: The Miz

So, that's it folks. My thoughts and predictions for Wrestlemania 27. Will they all be accurate? Doubtful but I think most will. This is wrestling we're talking about here folks. More to come this week on the wrestling content front I promise!

Posted
AuthorThe Scrivener