It’s no secret that J Jonah Jameson is the greatest journalist of all time. Both Nick and Sam count themselves amongst his disciples, but have taken different paths in their quests to become the best damn Jonahs they can be. Sam has taken the path of the J.K. Simmons live-action Jonah, and has begun founding his own media empire and talking as fast as possible. Nick has opted instead for the way of comic book Jonah, and has set about having heart attacks and demanding pictures of Spider-Man from anyone who will listen. Both men have adopted Jonah’s love of Scotch, and his penchant for shouting at anyone named “Parker,” “Brant,” or especially “Urich.”
Now, for your amusement, the two Jonah’s answer the questions YOU asked (or, on slow weeks, the questions they made up like any good newspaper man would).
Interview conducted by me, Ben Urich. Lucky me.
J Sam Jameson: That’s honestly a hard question to answer for me. There are a lot I like, ALL of them better than that wall-crawling menace! A favorite, though...even the internet’s favorite avatar of the movie version of a comic book newspaperman has to think about that! I think, with a final answer needed out of me, it would have to be Moon Knight, just because it’s the best representation of what a secret, dual identity would actually do to someone.
N Jona Jameson: Moon Knight is just another spoiled pretty boy with too much free time. Sure, he’s all conflicted about his religion, but so is every Catholic schoolgirl who grows up to find her panties on the other side of a fratboy’s bedroom her first weekend at college. This does not a hero make. For my money, the best hero was T’Challa, the Black Panther... before the hack duo of Hudlin and Liss completely re-wrote the character into a caricature.
J Sam Jameson: The catch is, Moon Knight never started as a playboy or rich man, unlike your favorite, T’Challa. We’re introduced to Marc Spector, a mercenary fighting in Egypt, who konks his head on a statue of an ancient deity and unwittingly becomes the avatar of vengeance. Now granted, he is rich later, but that’s only through investing some of his merc dollars into the market, getting rich himself, not inheriting it. And the religious conflict was primarily introduced and fleshed out in the Huston/Finch revamp of the character a few years ago. His main internal conflict came from the fact that he had created so many personas in his war on crime that he lost track of who he actually was. Is the man Marc Spector, is he Steven Grant, Jake Lockley, or is the real man the Fist of Khonshu, Moon Knight?
N Jonah Jameson: He’s boring is what he is! All he does is wangst and whine, he’s like Emo Batman! T’Challa, on the other hand, plays his feelings close to his vest, and even without the cheap gimmick of a forced identity crisis, he remains an enigma! A man of mystique! An honest to God masked man of mystery and adventure!
J Sam Jameson: Look, I’m not saying I hate T’Challa, but Moon Knight has more going for him than whining. His first appearance had him beating down werewolves in the streets of New York for the highest bidder! Now THAT’S a man of mystery and adventure!
Question 2: “What would you consider some under-rated Batman or Batman-related titles that people should know about?”
N Jonah Jameson: Get me comics! Comics about Batgirl!
J Sam Jameson: I have to agree with my cohort here, Batgirl comics by Brian Miller are what this world needs! Death and the Maidens and Batman: Venom are also no less than excellent, in my book!
N Jonah Jameson: Not just Miller! Pucket’s run was fantastic, and Simone’s work with former Batgirl Barbara Gordon over in Birds of Prey is consistently wonderful. Going a bit deeper into Gotham, two of my favorite stories that nobody reads are DeMatteis’ Going Sane and Brubaker’s Dead Reckoning. No Man’s Land is long, but pretty much every character gets a great story somewhere in there. And there’s no such thing as a bad story with that Abuse kid in it.
J Sam Jameson: Again, totally agreed on No Man’s Land. I think you can find trades of it on Amazon still, but it’s going to be through a third party. I also find myself partial to Gotham Central, from Brubaker and Rucka.
Question 3: “What are your thoughts on being excluded from Marc Webb’s The Amazing Spider-Man film?”
J Sam Jameson: Wha..Who.....WHEN...WHO WOULD DARE CUT THE GREATEST EDITOR EVER TO GRACE THE SILVER SCREEN FROM THE NEXT SPIDER-MAN MOVIE? WAS IT URICH?!
N Jonah Jameson: Totally fine with it. The less I’m associated with that wall-crawling menace, the better.
J Sam Jameson: You don’t understand!! Who’s going to lead the charge on calling that no good spider-jerk out for his detriment to society?!
N Jonah Jameson: Based on everything I’ve heard about the production, I’m guessing Roger Ebert.
J Sam Jameson: But then there will be no representation for the truth loving newspapermen in the audience! Our demographic of “haters of dangeorus arachnid-based vigilante” will be completely ignored!
N Jonah Jameson: Since we do we need Hollywood to do our job for us? We’re newspapermen, not filmmakers, and I for one wouldn’t have it any other way.
Question 4: “Will X-Men: First Class be a better movie than the prior entries?”
N Jonah Jameson: It’ll be better than Wolverine, worse than X 1 & 2, and probably in the zipcode of X3. But better than all those damned Spider-movies... even if it glorifies a terrrorist like Magneto, at least it’ll acknowledge him as a terrorist, unlike those insidious Raimi propaganda pieces.
J Sam Jameson: I think it will be about as good as the first one, a little less high quality than the second one, and better than the third one AND Wolverine combined. We’ll get to see mutants other than Wolverine in some capacity other than joke and/or cannon fodder for that hairy Canadian.
Ok, that’s all the time we have for today. The Jamesons do, however, have a request, and whoever delivers gets their question in the next Jonah vs. Jonah no matter how “stupid or Spider-Friendly” it is:
J. Sam Jameson: We need pictures! Pictures of Spider-Man! Punched by Moon Knight!
Send your questions (and pictures, if you got ‘em) to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Make sure to include Jonah v Jonah or JvJ in the subject or at least towards the top of the page
All characters and issues are copyright their respective owners. Special thanks to fellow zeitgeeks contributors Gabe, Jeff, and Jacob for the questions.